Japanese electronic dogs Aibo (as well as Chinese cats, mice and other crafts), we can not be surprised ... What can you say about an artificial man? Most recently, in the second half of March, Sony announced the release of the next digital toys - robotic android.
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Mass production of the robot, as he assured the Executive Vice President, Mr. Toshidata Doi, begin at the end of the year. In the meantime released some rich samples, which until the end of the year will be transferred to various computer companies, which are the official distributors of Sony. Such large-scale advertising campaign for the first time Sony. Actually, not just Sony - such an action never happened. The fact that digital Androids are about 30 thousand dollars apiece. To pass such a complicated and expensive equipment in the hands of strangers - is, I tell you, not everyone dares. All the more pleased that the elected was the Russian company ... I hasten to reassure - to sell a new toy will be on the other hand, is quite an affordable price. The robot is more expensive mentioned dog Aibo, but can afford to any interested buyer, including the not so rich. The same Mr. Doi told reporters that especially for Russia and some countries in Southeast Asia, Sony is developing a system of discounts and credits, through which the android will be possible to pick up from the store immediately, and pay for it for several years (final dates yet to be determined ). Whatever it was, and March 26 colorful box that says Sony SDR-4x (u) was on the editorial desk. What happened next - read in my report.
What was in the box
Nothing indicates that the inside of the box is a digital value with a decent man jeep. Recycled cardboard, rather clumsy appearance. However, the main box is attached to another box - a smaller size and appearance a little better. What's in the second box, I realized at once, since all the inscriptions have been translated into Japanese. But during the operation revealed an android - is his brains. In the sense - the mind. Flash memory card at 64 megabytes, and adapters PC card - Memory Stick. By the way, memory card, it is not difficult to guess, has the format Memory Stick. Typical for Sony perseverance in promoting their own standards. Even in more box revealed a pile of documentation (which I really have not learned - because of ignorance of the Japanese) and some cloth. Rags for wiping the machine? (Later I realized what it was, but all-time).
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Thus, an android SDR-4x (u) is extracted from the package. With his hands and feet removed the shipping labels (normal tape). In a special hatch in the back of the electronic man inserted lithium-polymer battery, memory card is inserted into the slot. Before turning the first test and the robot in action, look at his appearance ... you know, tall, I would not call him - just 58 inches tall with 6.5 kg of weight. This factory data specified on the box, and probably in the documentation (well, I do not know Japanese). For the type of android even smaller. Personally to me it gets to the knee, but does not reach to the waist, although I'm not a giant (tall, with a weight - the situation is different). Therefore, to communicate with the robot is inconvenient, it is necessary to bend all the time.Later you will see for yourself how distasteful this seemingly insignificant, failing.
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From its predecessor SDR-3x the fourth model (SDR-4x) differs radically. Firstly, it does not look like an astronaut - his head completely bald android (as aluminum saucepan), without any kind of helmets. Secondly, it is slightly taller than the third model, but is easier once every eight (growth precursor 50 cm, weight 50 kg). In general, I liked the look. A sort of Robocop, which you can click on the plastic nose - and nothing you will not ... A bit of stuffing. Completely dismantled the machine, to inspect its interior, could not. Loosen only the head and left leg. But the main thing I noticed. In Android installed a pair (maybe more, but I saw only a couple) of the central microprocessor and a set of chips in miniature - with a grain of rice - buildings. Familiar master of teleatele said that this electronic filings. Very possibly, although word for this drinker, I would poosteregsya. At the foot revealed some sensors (heavily electric shock, and sparks flew from the eyes), solenoids, and motors. After dismantling the foot did not want to take the place, but a soldering iron, tin solder flux and some did their job. The robot is slightly limp, but - goes.
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It remains to say that toy operated its own operating system from Sony, which is called Aperios. Feature of this system is the ability to do anything until you know how to either Windows, or Linux - to work properly without deadlocks, and brake failure. This multi-tasking! Android, as Julius Caesar, at the same time reads, writes, maintains an intelligent conversation and ... otchebuchivaet hopak. And all of this simultaneously, in real time!
The first day - a surprise from the Japanese
All include ... the main switch - blue illuminated buttons on the silver belly. Just above the navel - to the point where normal people are the diaphragm. Press the Home button. She lights up with LED lights. The robot moves his arms and legs. Climbs, turns his head. Views sockets miniature video cameras. And clearly says: "Hi People!" Mamma dear ... "Hi" - I say. "Yaks are you garni lad. A fat e? "I do not understand. I take the box. Look through the pile of documents. And soon discover a transcript name. Here is a (u) means the Ukrainian language. Plus English and Japanese. Russian is not in sight. Do not say anything, do a service. Touch to the robot and ask: "You need something?" The robot examines a (movement of the head resemble chicken), and then says: "Cowards lot. Look there in Korobtsev. That became clear purpose cloths in the second box. A robot adjusts: Shkarpetki you look. And kapelyuh. Shaw Well I am Toby, with his head nepokritoy hodyty going? "" Listen "- I say -" you and really hear me? And do you see? "What are you" - responds robot - "a fool or pretends to be? Baciu yak live. And if Shchekotov will not, maybe better razbachu ... Sho chain of Toby? Belly? Begaty treba. Charging Ziman. This is not the Ukrainian language. This is gibberish. More precisely - surzhik. Saved by the translator. "Y, scratch-cat" - says an android. - "Become layatsya, Japanese movu move on." Had to obey. An hour later, the robot requests an additional charge. Like, you're (in the sense - I) is also not without its shortcomings - also from the fridge does not waste ... I can not believe that it is a reality. Here's your toy ...
Day Two - the talents of the Fourth
The next day, it is a bit lame (the reason I set out above) and given the name - "Frankenstein" or affectionately "Frank." His name was not pleasant, but I suggested an alternative - the Japan non-Russian "- and quickly agreed to an android. But he is well able to "smart" on the house - vacuuming, pick up the scattered shoes, washing ashtrays. First he brought in my apartment the order (I finally saw the color of his Palace) and made the trash. Incidentally, when Frank came out to the garbage chute, I saw his neighbor. Here also, naturally, fell into a swoon. The robot tried to give her artificial respiration. She opened her eyes - and then collapsed in a faint ... It is a pity that it is not an android shot. Explicit design flaw. The whole evening talking with a robot "for life". He asked who he was, where and why. His surzhik got downright monstrous forms - in the permanent memory of a machine built in self-study program that is optimized for the Japanese language. What do have to wait a full Russification of MakTsentr. Here are snippets of statements of Frankenstein, written by me on tape. "Yak is are you, dullard sort, every toadstool eat? Shaw chains for pyrozhki yet? Electricity did not try it? And you try ... Look, the belly had eaten! "And Childrey (an obvious failure of the program - approx. Aut.) Where your from? Yak you robite them? A soldering iron for tsego Dila need? And yaks are using chips? .. And Shaw for kicks so that's way childrenov (repeated failure, we must inform the manufacturer - prim.avt.) Robit, can not understand ... "" But you Rankom my mom had called why? Sho you, the dog had in mind? TAKE A Shaw - piydem come out? Where to go out? And where mene muzzle, which should be byty? .. Yaky thou brutal, honest to God ... "" Sala want. Dyuzhe a lot of fat and dyuzhe lot of vodka ... not Meni? Sho can not? You, then you might as well be Meni? I will complain! .. Okay, not seed, I'm joking. Hihiknuv me. Well, sho do you want from a robot? "Until late in the night Frank showed me the national Ukrainian dances, instead of using the ladies (and without which no gopak gopak) flower vase, smashed them to pieces closer to midnight. Then he sang to me obscene limericks, but, thank God, did not survive the battery. While android recharged, I was able to reach the button and shut it down. Fu-u-y ...
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The Last Day - the results of tests
I am glad that the trials Sony Dream Robot 4x (your business name robot deciphered my own) ended. I would call them successful. Here is a summary of the features seen in this context - some reflections.
A definite plus: - Frankenstein can work as a diary, calendar, to-do list and alarm clock. Wakes up a very high quality - at first sound, then repulsion. If the repulsion does not work, take materials at hand, and hitting them on the head. This, I tell you, is not vibrating.
- Can hear, see and test the touch. Also can not hear, not see or even feel - depending on your mood.
- Can read any text aloud. However, only in Japanese. That sounds like a classic poem, "Koch ukrainsku nature" (unfortunately, the Russian language to Frank and not dalsya) in electronic mouth android: "Fuji, kimonos, Curacao - Khoros! Geisha, sake and sushi - Tose Fall Khoros! "
- Can dance and sing. Sings the scratchy electronic voice vaguely reminiscent of Christina's voice Orbakaite.
- Can be worn around the apartment like a madman. If you give him a drink (two to three drops of machine oil or a drop of gasoline for lighters), becomes furious. At the same time cursing the final word and threatens an international scandal.
- Can serve as an excellent tool for removing cockroaches and neighbors. First takes into submission, the second - very scary. Powerless against the moths - he says that he can not, because each sees the butterfly woman.
- By the way, has a penchant for drag queens.Friend of the author all the time edging the kissing of hands, but only iskleval them to their plastic nose, why a poor woman on the left hand form two pimples.
But the flaws were noticed. Many of them. More precisely - the only one. In conversation with the robot because of its small stature all the time, leans over to hear better. But the android does not matter raised. One has only to bend over, and when my complexion is a process, the robot quickly wraps you over the stern and hit the mechanical leg in a most unpleasant place. On the question of why he does it, the android replied: "Jess, of pendal. Another program error. In short, a bully another one ... But as a PDA will fit perfectly. And as a vacuum cleaner. And, as a means to liquefy the mind. And as an intellectual clubs for fools like me ... What is it, ask for the junk I carry? What are you reading this crap? So - Banzai, guys. Full, you know, Japanese Bonsai:-P Authors, translation:
Nikolai Yakovlev
